we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
