i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
