im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Couch. On fire.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
