Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
