he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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