I just saw a hot homeless man
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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