HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
