yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
