also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It's official drugs can't kill me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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