Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I can tuck mytits in my pants
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
