just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
