K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
