I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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