how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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