i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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