so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Terrible idea I love it
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
