no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
