I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
