Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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