Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
