I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
