Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
We need to rekindle our bromance
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
