I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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