Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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