i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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