Just fell off a train. Bad.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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