i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Randomize
