Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
