lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
