we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
