Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
