id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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