I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
