all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
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