I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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