you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
