i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
