Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
