Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
