spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Why are your pants in the freezer?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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