the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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