What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
My feet surprised me
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
