New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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