Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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