I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
