I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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