I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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