he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
It's blow job season.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
