hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
