i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
