are you still at the devil's house?
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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