she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize