I skipped work to stalk him.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Are we still banned from the library?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
