What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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