If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
