What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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