Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
