come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
