You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
