Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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